How to Tell Your Story and Become a Better Leader

person sitting with an open blank notebook and pen February 13, 2017 By: Timothy J. Tobin

The five elements of a great story—plot, characters, conflict, theme, and setting—are also the five elements of successful association leadership. When you take a little time to understand your own story, you can become the leader you want to be.

Every leader has a story—a collection of experiences, perspectives, and values that shape who they are, the actions they take, and how they lead. Whether you lead one person or an entire organization, your story is powerful. It has the potential to energize, inspire, and motivate those around you.

But if you're like most leaders, you haven't given your story much thought. And why would you? With so many expectations and competing demands, you might think there isn't time—or a need—to think about your story.

Still, understanding your story is critical to building a legacy. Leaders who understand their story make stronger connections with colleagues, they're more authentic, and they're better prepared to make decisions consistent with their values and purpose. By aligning beliefs, words, and actions, a leader can build trust and credibility.

Stories have power. They move people in ways that facts and figures cannot. Understanding your story has the potential to transform your leadership.

Five literary concepts can help you better understand your leadership story: plot, characters, conflict, theme, and setting. Use them to create a process for becoming the leader you want to be.

Step 1: Define Your Plot

The plot is a story's unique purpose. It's also the foundation of your story and the inspiration behind your action. Your plot answers several questions: What does leadership mean to you? Why do you lead? Where do you want to make an impact?

Think about the plot's tangible outcomes as your personal mission statement and core values. Although your purpose will likely evolve through different stages of your career, you must have a clear understanding of where you want to go—especially if you want others to follow you.

Step 2: Identify Key Characters

Every story includes characters. You interact with people who influence you and vice versa. Leadership is not simply about getting work done. It's also about the relationships built along the way. Great leaders are remembered not only for their accomplishments, but also for how they make people feel and the opportunities that they provide to others.

Step 3: Prepare for Conflict

Conflict is the story's struggle. I don't know too many leaders who need more conflict; however, all leaders will be faced with it at some point. How you handle conflict says a lot about your leadership. Do you initiate it? Avoid it? Are you consistent? Are you calm and fair?

With planning, you can better prepare for conflict. If you never give another thought to how you handle conflict, you won't be prepared for it. Instead, you'll be much more likely to react negatively to it. Thinking about how you have responded to conflict in the past and envisioning how you would like to respond in the future will help you respond effectively when a conflict does arise.

Step 4: Understand Your Theme

Your story's theme is what you're known for as a leader. What adjectives would people use to describe you? As complex as people are, they're surprisingly succinct when it comes to describing leadership characteristics. Three to five adjectives is the going rate.

You may think you are a great leader, or perhaps an average one, but you are only as good of a leader as other people believe you are. Aligning how others describe you and how you describe yourself is the challenge. When there is little to no alignment - depending on the words used - the result could be perceived as arrogance, insecurity, or humility. When there is alignment, the leader is perceived as authentic, genuine and reliable.

Unfortunately, rarely are the same adjectives used, and this must be resolved. This requires self-awareness, and the best way to go about it starts with taking a 360 leadership assessment. But beyond that, articulate your core values and let others know what leadership means to you.

For many leaders, the other challenge surrounding their theme is that they hold on for too long to what they are known for. As you continue to take on more advanced leadership responsibilities, you must let go and learn to delegate.

Step 5: Analyze Your Setting

The setting grounds a story. Your setting matters. It refers to both the physical space and the organizational culture, and it also includes the work itself and how it is structured. Your setting sets the tone for how you and others feel about being at work. Although there is no "one size fits all" when it comes to organizations, those that encourage people to work together, share information, and allow people to be themselves are the most positive and productive ones.

Remember, as a leader, what you say and helps shape the culture. Your responsibility as a leader is to create an environment where people can excel. Your job is to remove barriers, not to be one.

Stories have power. They move people in ways that facts and figures cannot. Understanding your story has the potential to transform your leadership. With these five steps, you can understand your story, take control of it, and become the leader you want to be.

Timothy J. Tobin

Timothy J. Tobin is a leadership speaker and the author of "Your Leadership Story: Use Your Leadership to Energize, Inspire, and Motivate."