Q: I think I’m being bullied at work, but I’m not quite sure. What kind of behavior is considered bullying? And if it is, what can I do to stop it?

A: Whether it’s technically bullying or not, I’m sorry that you’ve been having a difficult experience with someone else at work. Before trying to address the situation, it helps to define the term.

Bullying can take many forms, but it is generally considered to be unwelcome behavior over a period of time that’s meant to harm someone who feels powerless. Bullying behavior is deliberately intended to dominate and cause stress or fear. It usually occurs in private.

Common forms of bullying include personal attacks that often are unrelated to your job or your work. Bullies typically use tactics like spreading gossip or saying hurtful things (including name-calling) about coworkers either directly to them or behind their back. Someone who is being bullied may experience indirect slights as well: They may be left out of meetings or work-related social events.

If this describes what’s been happening to you, then yes, you’re being bullied. And it will likely continue until the bully is stopped or realizes that the behavior has consequences.

So don’t let yourself be a victim. If you feel it is safe for you to do so, let the bully know that you will not tolerate this treatment, and do it firmly and as quickly as you can. Unfortunately, the behavior may not stop even when you’ve stood your ground, so be diligent about documenting incidents of harassment. Then, if you have to report the conduct to management, you have dates, details, and, if possible, witnesses who will back you up.

Be diligent about documenting incidents of harassment. Then, if you have to report the conduct to management, you have dates, details, and, if possible, witnesses who will back you up.

If the person bullying you is your supervisor, take the information to your organization’s HR department for the help you need. If you don’t have an HR team, go to someone you trust, ideally a colleague at or above your supervisor’s level. 

There are no federal laws preventing bullying in the workplace, unless the behavior rises to the level of creating a hostile work environment. There is a great deal of statutory and case law on this subject, particularly about what constitutes a hostile work environment, but you don’t need to be a lawyer to protect yourself. You can start by simply standing up for yourself, if you feel safe doing so. Tell the bully to stop the offending behavior, and if they don’t—or if you are too fearful to address the bully directly—get help.