Donald Cowper
Donald Cowper is a content manager at Wild Apricot, which produces membership management software for small associations and nonprofits.
It doesn't take much for a meeting to get derailed—one loud critic or even the seating arrangements can do it. With a little forethought, however, leaders can keep a conversation positive and on point.
A couple years ago, I had to make a critical presentation to my team. I needed their support for a large project, one that I knew would significantly raise the profile of our organization. Although I had anticipated some resistance, I had prepared what I thought was a persuasive argument and was expecting a positive outcome. I also knew I already had support from several people in the room.
I felt that things were going well at first, but then I noticed a couple of people at the far end of the table whispering. I plowed on. The moment I wrapped up, the person at the head of the table immediately began to voice some concerns. I had solid responses, but found it difficult to deliver them because he kept cutting me off. Soon others piped up with similar concerns. Some of my supporters didn't speak up and the ones who did were drowned out. People were talking over each other and I struggled to bring some order back to the room. The meeting came to a close before we arrived at any decision, and I left with knots in my stomach.
Many meetings go haywire not because of the personalities in the room but because of structural elements.
I used to think that meetings like this one go haywire largely because of the people in the room. And because you can't really change people, I had figured there's not much you can do to improve some meetings. But I have since learned, largely through the work of Dr. Rick Lent, an expert on meetings and the author of Leading Great Meetings, that many meetings go haywire not because of the personalities in the room but because of structural elements. The good news is that it's a whole lot easier to change structure than to change people. Here are four ways to make that happen.
1. Play musical chairs. Beware of a rectangular table, Lent cautions. That's because where people sit at one, such as the head of the table, implies power and influence. Allies will often sit side by side, allowing cliques to form. Lent's advice: Ditch the rectangular table for a square or circular one and mix up the seating arrangements whenever you meet, so nobody has an established seat. When you do that, it's less likely that your meeting will go awry, with the person at the head of the table dominating and people sniggering together.
2. Start with a round of introductions. If people aren't encouraged to say something at the beginning of a meeting, they are more likely to remain quiet throughout it, which is what happened with some of my supporters. Giving everyone a chance to say something up front helps prevent one or more vocal people dominating.
3. Build in quiet time. Another of Lent's ideas is to incorporate time to reflect. After someone has introduced a topic or proposed an idea, ask everyone to take a minute or two to consider it in silence. There are a number of benefits to this. First, it prevents someone from leaping in and controlling the discussion, and gives everyone a chance to consider other reactions they might have, rather than what comes to mind immediately. Then, when people do speak, they'll share more considered thoughts. Without reflection time, a range of opinions are often left unvoiced. To incorporate reflection time, Lent recommends a process he calls "1-2-all," which encourages small-group discussion followed by report-outs.
4. Start with the positive. Too many meetings, like the one I mentioned above, spiral into negativity. That's because we all have a tendency to first share what we don't like about something. To avoid this, Lent suggests first asking people to say what they like about an idea or proposal, then address concerns they might have. I wish I had used this approach in my meeting, because most people did actually like much of my proposal, but never said so until after the meeting. With a better structure, I could have gotten that support in the first meeting. (By the way, I did eventually get my project approved, but it took a whole other meeting.)
Good luck at your next meeting. I hope it goes better than the one I described.